Monday Update

I had my OB appointment today to check my beta levels and have another ultrasound. I did my blood work at 10am and scheduled the OB appointment for 1:45. So, naturally, at 3:30 we were seen. Ugh. Anyway, my beta level went up from 3800 to over 7000. So, that is looking good. The problem is the ultrasound. There isn't anything showing up in the gestational sac. At this point, we aren't really sure what is going on. The OB recommended that I go to radiology and have an ultrasound because their department has better equipment than the woman's clinic. The ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9am. I am sick with anxiety. I really cannot stand this back and forth business. I really just want to know what is going to happen.....either way.

At this point, there are one of three possibilities.
1.) It is just too early for something to show up on the ultrasound. (This is unlikely as I should be at least 6 weeks....but probably further along.)
2.) There is a fetal pole, but the ultrasound machine in the woman's clinic can't see it for whatever reason.
3.) I am having a missed miscarriage.

Ultimately, I am fine with either possibility. I would be thrilled if it were one of the first two, but if for some reason I am meant to miscarry this pregnancy, I know that it is due to some chromosomal abnormality. I would much rather miscarry than have an unhealthy baby.

So, I understand. I just need to know. I need to know if I can celebrate, or if I should start the grieving process.

Waiting is killing me.